Sometimes the unknown, or mostly the misinterpreted can become slightly intimidating.
What is tantra?
According to Dr. Janet Brito, an expert sex therapist and licensed psychologist with the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health, Tantrism and tantra is linked with the secret occult power in the early nineteenth century. Subsequently, by the mid-to-late twentieth century, tantra meant openness, sexuality, and liberation, but there exists no uniformity in its connotations and denotations.
Nowadays, tantric sex acts put heavy emphasis on self-exploration and intentionality, with a focus on individual liking meaning that masturbation is an exceptional way to try it out. Moreover, you get to explore what doesn’t and does work for you minus the additional pressure of attempting something new with your spouse.
Dr. Brito explains it is more about deep connection, pleasure, and solo intimate pleasure and less about performance. Furthermore, it is more than just getting the job done and getting off, but more about slowing down and getting to understand yourself more erotically, as well as having a pleasure-based mentality, filled with self-discovery and curiosity.
Therefore, tantric masturbation is not about achieving orgasm with studies proving that sexual activity and orgasms offer a lot of benefits. However, when it comes o masturbation, there is more to it than just crossing the finish line.
Planned Parenthood states masturbation can assist you;
- Generally, improve your sex life
- Reduce stress
- Enhance your self-esteem
Due to how deliberate tantra is, Dr. Brito describes that this “pleasure-based” sexuality” puts much emphasis on understanding yourself and how you experience the pleasure versus entertaining someone else. Subsequently, this makes tantric masturbation a kind of self-care.
How to perform tantric masturbation?
Tantric masturbation is all about exploring new things; therefore, Dr. Brito advises you to take your time to know and comprehend your personal sexual story as you practice self-acceptance utterly free of any judgment. Additionally, slowing down and taking your time allows you to get to understand yourself and having sexual fantasies or sexual imaging acceptable.
Because there is no set formula on how sexual pleasure for all persons should be achieved, there exists no precise set of rules highlighting how tantric masturbation should be done. It is because what may work for you might not work for someone else, and this is normal. Also, it is crucial to recall that tantric masturbation is more about the exploration of the different body sensations and less about reaching a destination which is a single orgasm.
Therefore, if you are thinking to start tantric masturbation, below are some general tips to follow before getting started;
1. Create a surrounding which is comfortable, safe and relaxing
First, you must give yourself adequate time to relax as well as setting up yourself for relaxation, with the lighting of a candle being a perfect place to start. However, ensure you are engaging many of your senses as possible which consequently allows you to focus on much better, and you have an idea of the kind of environment you will get to enjoy most.
Also, recall tantra is more about a continuing practice which can result in an increased awareness of your sexuality against a particular masturbation approach to achieve an orgasm. It is because the objective is to learn as much about yourself as well as what you enjoy during your exploration. Nevertheless, if this concept makes you somewhat nervous, you should concentrate on a simple strategy then which is you finding your bliss.
2. Start exploring your body as well as your preferences
You must remember to breathe and emphasizing the overall sensations, and whether you want to commence with a fantasy or other types of sexual imagery is all up to you. The vital issue is finding something which you enjoy without any self-censorship or judgment,
Get rid of expectations and pressure on what you should be doing but instead focus on understanding what you enjoy most regarding pleasure and sex.
3. Move slowly
Whereas it might be tempting for you to want to rush to your destination, be it penetration, clitoral stimulation, or any other method of orgasm since tantra is more about you enjoying the journey as well as getting to understand yourself more.
According to one study, more than a third of women necessitate clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm, the form, pressure, location as well as touch patterns to bring pleasure significantly varies from one woman to another.
Consequently, this means that little self-exploration can go a long way, and this may involve discovering your erogenous zones or learning of different methods to pleasure yourself, for instance, locating and stimulating your G spot. Additionally, it might mean using either your sex toys or fingers to experiment.
Concentrate on your personal preferences, and this may involve getting to know what they are or enjoying things you already love doing.
4. Do not stress about it
It takes a considerable amount of time to get used to, and that is entirely acceptable since tantra is all about understanding what makes you happy and learning how to love yourself.
According to Dr. Brito, some self-love too has valuable benefits also since she states that engaging in tantric masturbation and tantra helps heighten your body’s overall awareness, assist you to comprehend your personal sexual needs, and increase connection with yourself. Subsequently, this boosts your general sex life.
The bottom line
Irrespective of whether you are interested in tantric masturbation and tantra, with the beauty about this practice is that puts much emphasis on the individual. Instead of going by recognized guidelines or set of rules, it is more about knowing yourself which is always good.
For women mainly, gone are the days are accepting bad sex, thus, knowing what feels good and enjoying the benefits is something we all support.