You probably must have heard about chastity and orgasm denial and have no clue what it means. Don’t you suppose it might improve your sex life? Aren’t you curious? Well, maybe you are and would like to take your sex game to a whole new level through denying yourself pleasure just when you’ve climaxed. For some, the idea of not having an orgasm and being boxed up in chastity gives them sexual bliss.
Whatever the case, you probably must have experimented, and you keep missing it. Better luck next time right? Wrong! Why not be a pro now? Why don’t you read and learn how it’s really done? Let’s get enlightened, shall we?
Why do you suppose people get out of chastity and orgasm denial?
The question of sexuality has no definite answer. In other words, no answer best fit human sexual preference. However, chastity and orgasm denial is generally considered as a fantasy, lifestyle choice or fetish choice for the individuals who enjoy exploring sexually. Many couples amuse themselves with the power dynamics linked with orgasm denial, and it’s mostly practised among couples who engage in BDSM.
The partner who is in control (dominant) of giving pleasure may decide to excite the submissive to the point of orgasm sexually and then choose to stop before they (submissive) reaches climax. They could as well switch roles if they feel like it, to increase the sexual excitement.
Some dominants and submissives believe that orgasm denial helps focus the attention of the submissive, maximising their need for intimacy, passion, affection and ultimately, submission. While this might be a catalyst for some, it should be firmly put into consideration that sexual submission and orgasm denial are two separate desires. One cannot “make” a person (partner) a submissive by denying them orgasm if they aren’t naturally submissive.
Note: It doesn’t have to be a (Dominant/submissive) relationship for orgasm denial to work.
You can thoroughly enjoy orgasm denial without being in a BDSM relationship. Couples may experience the thrill of the act just to spice their sex game in their relationship. The electrifying feeling (the tease) it gives around the body may just be what sexual partners enjoy from practising orgasm denial. Some couples consider it sexy even and won’t go on with the sex if orgasm denial isn’t involved in their foreplay as it gives partners leverage to explore each other’s bodies for hours, days or as long as they want.
The knowledge that they are desperately turned on, and the frustration that they haven’t released yet keeps them in a heightened state of absolute arousal that when they eventually climax, the release would be all the more intense and satisfying, making the teasing, waiting and orgasm denial even more rewarding for you and your partner.
During this period of intense teasing, your body becomes very sensitive, and you could feel the flow of blood in your body as every touch feels much more intense. Many people don’t mind being teased. Some can only take it for a few hours, before negative frustration sets in, while others live for the thrill of extending this teasing game for days, weeks, months and in few cases, years. There are in fact no rules to how it’s done — no right or wrong way.
You shouldn’t force it if your partner isn’t into the whole chastity and orgasm denial activities. It is a lifestyle choice. Take, for instance; the Taoist belief is that a man should be able to hold his ejaculate because this would energise and fortify him.
How to experience orgasm denial?
It is essential to communicate your thought with your partner so you both can have a better understanding of what you want and know how best to please each other. You could try covering all possible subjects before you both start exploring. Never try to force your desires on your partner. You need to understand if your partner isn’t interested and it’s a respectable decision.
An effective way of introducing orgasm denial into your relationship is to experiment together by teasing and edging each other’s bodies. Instead of penetrative sex as a means to get arousal, try touching, extreme foreplay and use of toys to the point when either of you wants to release. You might even discover new avenues of arousing your partner till their level of arousal hits the roof through this means. The act is simple. It is like giving you a chance to turn on and off by increasing and reducing stimulation on your partner’s body when necessary until they can’t take it anymore.
If what your partner craves is orgasm denial, and they understand what they are getting involved with, then feel free to deny them that final release. You both can kick it off with a bottle of red wine and some soft music. Set the right sexual atmosphere. It’s quite interesting because orgasm denials have been linked with strong emotions and if you or your partner is trying it for the first time, then note that it may be too intense if you jump right at it.
Safe words may be used if the denial involves BDSM, and I would suggest you start slow and steady if you are only trying on a neutral ground until you discover denial ways that best suit you.
Types of orgasm denial:
A ruined orgasm, as the name indicates, is an orgasm that wasn’t pleasurable and this happens when you force yourself or your partner beyond the point of no return by just a fraction and then seize all forms of stimulations.
Ruined orgasms are not as intense as full orgasms as it does not give total satisfaction. There aren’t usually any orgasmic contractions and the sensations involved are typically weak. Meaning the feelings don’t usually last long and would fade away just as quickly as they come. Semen may still be ejaculated, but it wouldn’t shoot out the way full orgasms would. Sperm would usually ooze or drool out, rather than come in forceful shots or squirts.
A person experiencing a ruined orgasm will often enter a recovery phase after orgasm. Stimulation may continue after a ruined orgasm in some cases, allowing you to build towards another stage of orgasm. This makes giving your partner countless ruined orgasm possible in one session.
Talk about tension. The mere thought of it should make your blood pump faster. For partners who engage in BDSM, ruined orgasms will leave a submissive feeling frustrated and unsatisfied, and this method is often used by dominants a way of milking submissive males, allowing them to release semen, starving them of the pleasure of full orgasm.
Edging is merely the act of taking yourself, or your partner to the point of orgasm, and then stop all form of stimulations. If calculated right, the sensation of almost climaxing would fade off, and orgasm won’t happen.
Edging can be considerably intense, and it takes constant practice to master. It works best if and when you know when to stop all stimulations just before you get to the point of orgasm. That’s the point isn’t it, to deny yourself or partner from reaching orgasm?
Mistakes may occur during initial practices, but over time, you and your partner can stretch edging sessions over a period of days, weeks or months, leaving them aroused and constantly sexually frustrated.
How to ruin an orgasm?
Psychological ways to deny orgasm:
The mind is a very powerful tool, and there are countless games you can play with your mind to effectively deny your partner a heartfelt orgasm. It is vital that you communicate with your partner, so you know you are on the same page, so they don’t cheat on the deal by secretly masturbating to reach orgasm.
If either of you is uncomfortable with how the game is going, then, by all means, end it and continue with you sexually activities or adopt other factors to thrill each other.
One efficient way to deny your partner an orgasm is to imprint an idea, or a condition, that would make your partner hold back from reaching climax. This way, your partner does your bidding. They wouldn’t want to be punished, so they leave “it” as it is, and allow you continue to control the rise and fall of their sexual arousal. It’s amazing really.
Other ways to deny orgasm may include promises, bribery, or direct challenges. You know your partner best and would just how to ultimately get them to be corporate.
Physical ways to ruin an orgasm:
One of the easiest ways of denying your partner full orgasm is by stopping all manner of stimulations just after your submissive gets to the point where climaxing is about to happen. They end up having a weak and unsatisfying orgasm, but it’s nothing compared to a full orgasm.
The tricky part is getting the exact moment your partner is about to reach orgasm for you to seize stimulation. Stopping too soon may have your partner ride the edge but won’t have them tipping over. It could even get worst and defeat its purpose if your partner a few seconds too long, which would inevitably allow them to enjoy an even greater and pleasurable orgasm than you initially wanted to provide.
Ruining an orgasm using this technique is easy. You can have your partner tell you when they are right on edge, or they may naturally announce when they are about to have an orgasm. That is your cue to stop stimulating them. This information gives you the power to hold them at that point. You could also tease them with one or two more strokes just to watch them spasm.
With constant practice, you can easily tell when your partner is about to reach orgasm as they may not want to tell you or hold themselves from announcing just so that you might stimulate them long enough to reach a full orgasm.
Pain is another way of ruining an orgasm. Yes. Pain. This can be adopted by partners with a strong threshold for pain. Ensure to communicate with your partner before trying these techniques. This is done by slapping or flicking of the clitoris, the penis head or the testicles. The shock effect may be mild, but it can cause a little discomfort, and if this can be done just at the point of no return, then it can effectively ruin an orgasm in most people. Ensure to slap hard enough to stop all kind of sexual pleasure; else, hitting mildly might just be the final stroke your partner needs to have a mild blowing orgasm. It should be worthy of note that pain for some people is pleasurable and hitting them might just be the icing on the cake, so this method isn’t for them if that’s the case.
For some men, hindering the release of their semen will frustratingly ruin his chance to reach an orgasm. You could restrict your partner from reaching full orgasm by either squeezing (holding tight) the penis around the base, or you could try putting your finger or thumb over your partner’s urethra while holding his penis firmly at the point of no return, effectively holding and blocking the flow of semen. Hold the penis firmly until all muscle spasm and contractions stop putting an end to orgasmic sensations.
A small amount of semen may drip from his penis when the choke hold is done, while some of his sperm may have gone into his bladder. This is known as “retrograde ejaculation” and would be passed out when he urinates. This may cause his urine to appear cloudy — no need to worry. It’s safe.
Some tease and denial ideas you could start with
There are some games you could play with dice. You and your partner could designate each number on dice to mean something. A four could say that they have to edge four times in a session and that’s it for the day. Getting a six could mean you would allow them full orgasm and one could signify that your partner isn’t allowed to touch you while you stimulate them. You could use a pack of cards or whatever you both are familiar with.
You could allow your partner the chance to have a full orgasm using a timer, but only if they achieve orgasm within “X” amount of time. Try counting down the seconds or minutes aloud to throw their focus and to put the pressure on them. You could even “Reward” them for behaving well, for a task they completed or for not cheating on the game. This is supposed to keep the sex game exciting.
Make it clear to your partner they aren’t allowed to stimulate themselves by touching their genitals in any sexual way, not until you have permitted them to reach a full orgasm.
Essential things to keep in mind
Orgasm denial and chastity can be a tremendous amount of turn on for those who don’t mind a bit of adventure in their love life. Like all sexuality, there is no right or wrong way. It should be what you are comfortable with and discussing with your partner is a sure way to being on the same page. Remember, you are only doing it wrong if pleasure isn’t the end game from the sexual activities.
As long as you are and your partner is having fun, then there is nothing to be worried about.