Hurting someone with words and actions during a fight can cause a lot of mental damage. Most of our activities don’t make conflict resolution any easier. It is best you know the actions you make go a long way in destroying or saving your relationship. Resentments can last much longer after the fight is over, ruining a relationship.
What are these relationship mistakes we make that ruin the bond between you and your partner? Let’s find out.
Fighting in public
Publicly displaying your quarrels with your loved one should be avoided entirely. Not being able to control yourself and settling to fight in public only shows that the relationship with that individual lacks respect.
In cases where quarrels are about to happen, calmly walk away to cool off, or wait till you get home and better discuss the issue.
Violence should be the last thing
Violence brings out the worst in us and shows the negative sides of our character. By trying to prove a point, some of us resort to violence and by so doing, do more harm than good. No matter how angry you are, try as much as possible not to use force to convey your message as you make do some things you might regret. Think about it, how much damage do you suppose physical pains can cause.
Never discuss divorce
Saying “Let’s get divorced” during an argument could be the biggest and most painful insult you could be dishing your partner. This is you telling them they aren’t good enough and you are better off without them. Contemplating divorce each time you have a fight with your loved one could hurt your partner’s feelings deeply even if you don’t mean it. This is why it is wise to choose your words very carefully. If you love your partner and want to maintain a stronger relationship, never talk about divorce with your spouse.
Never mix it up
If the primary reason for the fight was over the TV remote, then let talk be on the TV remote. Don’t go digging up past mistakes your partner has made and complicated matters even more. Doing this would only turn little simple things into even more significant problems and give the both of you more reasons to fight. Don’t give your partner any idea to start resenting being in a relationship with you because you both can’t solve minor issues that only get blown out of proportion and becomes ugly.
Never go to bed separately
Going to bed separately only indicates that you aren’t ready to make up and would instead drag the quarrel into the next day. This character might be very destructive as it sends the wrong message to your partner and it could be a significant catalyst in destroying your relationship. The farther you pull away physically, the more detached emotionally.
Sleeping together on the same bed or eating on the same table, or having baths together no matter the conflict between you and your partner, would ease the atmosphere and resolve differences quickly.
So next time you want to do something that you and your partner would usually do together, no matter how angry you are, don’t hesitate.
Do not other family members interfere
Your relationship with your partner is your business and whatever happens in that relationship should be kept with you and your partner’s circle. Your fight shouldn’t concern your friends and your family. You don’t want to be going publicising you’re your secrets. Trust me; it would do you no good. Even if you and your partner settle, with outside interference, it would mean that both of you don’t trust each other enough to handle your business.
Don’t leave the house in the middle of a fight
By leaving the house when you’re having a fight with your partner only signifies that you are uncomfortable being under the same roof as your partner. Walking out on your partner, in the name of wanting space, only makes your partner question your level of maturity.
I strongly suggest you both wait till you are completely calm, then talk things over like real adults would and then aim at resolving conflicts amicably.
There are better ways of settling conflicts. A relationship counsellor is there for a reason. You both could fix an appointment if things get out of hands and you want to save your relationship.