If you have been recently diagnosed with primary infertility, female or male factor, or secondary infertility, you may be wondering is it worth fighting for your dream baby. You might be wondering if you have the adequate financial resources, time, physical and emotional strength to do it, if your relationship or marriage is strong enough.
Depending on your individual infertility diagnosis and your current life situation and goals, you and your partner need to decide how adamant you are in having a baby no matter what it takes and how much you are able to sacrifice. The journey may not be easy, but it is still worth a shot, right?
If you think of the only way of conquering infertility as happily giving birth with the help of IVF with own eggs and sperm, think again. Here’s a reality check. The vast majority of couples who struggle to conceive are in their 30s and 40s. This is time in your life when your reproductive capabilities are greatly reduced. Those young couples who are able to use their own genetic material are very lucky. For others, there are other solutions that help beat infertility.
Every infertility case is different so it is entirely natural that your way of conquering your condition may turn out to be different than for other couples.
IVF with donor eggs and/or sperm
If you are over 40, your biological material is of poor quality and quantity, your fertility doctor may recommend IVF with donor eggs and donor sperm. Such solution offers you 80% chancethat during IVF you get properly developing embryos and 45-55% chance of having a live birth. These are very optimistic success rates. Such treatment can be costly in the USA, however, many American, Canadian and Australian couples choose to visit IVF clinics in Europe.
Surrogacy is definitely an option for couples for whom pregnancy is not possible, too risky to the woman’s health or for male same sex couples. It is not legal in many countries, but, for example, surrogacy is legal in Canada or Ukraine. Although in Ukraine, only married couples are eligible for surrogacy services. In gestational surrogacy the intended parents can use their genetic material so that the baby is genetically related to them. Also donor embryo can be used. The most amazing part of surrogacy is that the intended parents can see the baby immediately after birth and bond with the newborn.
If you feel surrogacy is not an option for you, you can consider adoption. The process of adoption can be extremely rewarding because you can feel you are not only “helping” yourselves, but also helping a child to have a loving family and a home for life. Still, adoption is a challenging, expensive and time-consuming process. It could even take 2 years or more. Are you willing to take on that challenge? Weigh all pros and cons before you start the process.
You can try to find a couple who have adopted a child and will be willing to tell you more about their experiences. Also, it’s worth speaking to people who have started the adoption process and, for some reason, decided not to pursue it further.
Resolution to lead happy and childfree life
And, last but not least, you can choose to live childfree and happy life. Is this conquering infertility? We definitely think so! Remaining childfree is a very personal decision and it may be a result of many factors.
Some couples feel it is time to quit trying after many failed IVFs, some of them reach a certain age or their financial or emotional limits, and some never feel that adoption was their thing or tried to adopt but didn’t succeed or decided to quitat some point. Whatever your reason for embracing your childfree life is, you should not feel that you gave up or failed. It should be your conscious decision that can bring relief and resolution to your struggles.
A few tips: share your story with others (if it helps you), reach out for support in childfree after infertility groups, perhaps consider getting a pet and take your time to develop your plan B – would you like to travel, take up a new hobby or perhaps help support other infertile or childless couples? The possibilities are endless. Good luck!